3 Reasons Why Dystopian Heroines are More Than Pick-Me Girls

JULY 15TH, 2026

What is a“Pick-Me” Girl? 

A Pick-Me is a girl who puts other girls down to get male approval. It’s a learned behaviour absorbed by girls living in a world that praises girls for being attractive rather than intelligent. Girls are subtly told that other girls are competition and that boys’ opinions carry more weight.

On social media, “I’m not like other girls” content spreads quickly because controversy gets clicks.  

Ever considered why romance novels – a predominantly female genre of fiction – rarely win literary prizes and can be considered cringeworthy? And why Suzanne Collins, who writes political novels with uncompromising female protagonists, hasn’t always received the critical acclaim that male authors writing similar stories do?

1) protagonists who celebrate femininity 

In To All the Boys I've Loved Before, Lara Jean loves pink, baking, and romance, and the story never mocks her for it. She has strong relationships with her sisters and values other girls. She doesn’t have to reject girly things to be seen as strong. In both the book and film, she doesn’t change herself, even when it’s awkward. And most importantly, she doesn’t compete with other girls for male attention.

She stays authentic. Lara Jean is the opposite of a Pick-Me girl, unashamed of liking girly things.

2) characters who don’t put other women down

Starr in The Hate U Give has strong bonds with her female extended family, from her friend Maya and from female community leaders. The author of The Hate U Give, Angie Thomas, shows how important this female mentorship is in fighting injustice. Katniss in The Hunger Games protects Rue and looks after her, rather than treating her as the competition. When Violet in Fourth Wing risks her own life to save another girl in the academy, her actions build strong trust not only with that girl, but with the other girls too.

3) Survival drives the actions of lead characters, not male approval

At the start of the book Fourth Wing, on a dangerous crossing, Violet gives one of her boots to another recruit, even though this increases her own chance of falling to her death. This act of selflessness saves the other girl’s life and cements Violet’s reputation as trustworthy. Near the start of The Hunger Games, Katniss volunteers to take the place of her sister Prim, and saves Prim’s life by doing so.

Final Thoughts

While YA literature of the early 2000s has been criticised for having heroines with Pick-Me traits, like Bella Swan in Twilight, who declared she wasn’t like other girls and didn’t like traditionally girly pursuits. However, it is important to remember that Twilight was written at a time when girls’ interests were often made fun of, and Twilight was revolutionary as there were hardly any female protagonists written. Bella Swan made many bookish, awkward girls and women feel seen for the first time as they saw themselves reflected in her, so Twilight should be celebrated, not knocked.

In Divergent, Tris leans into the idea that being tougher than other girls makes you better than them, subtly framing softness as a weakness, which has led to Divergent being criticised for its Pick-Me moments. But Tris is a protagonist who doesn’t seek male approval and wrestles with complex identity issues, and Divergent is to be applauded for this. 

But newer YA has developed female protagonists, like Violet in Fourth Wing, who don’t apologise for physical weaknesses or let it stop their ambitions. These weaknesses build their resilience and make them mentally tougher than everyone around them. 

We should reframe how feminine things are viewed. Romance should be taken as seriously as war stories and is as worthy of book awards. And having feelings isn’t weak, and wearing pink doesn’t mean you should be taken less seriously. You can love fantasy and make-up, and be into both sports and poetry, horror and romance. There’s nothing wrong with liking things that girls and women like. Read the romance novel and recommend it. Support other women and BIPOC, queer and disabled authors. Challenge lazy reviews and call out dismissive behaviour. Let girls take up the space they deserve on bookshelves and help shift the culture.

Share with us your favourite YA heroine who shows that building alliances with other women and being unashamedly feminine make great female leads.

- Chris

Fiction Rebellion Heroines